I have no idea why, but life's getting rather interesting..
Basically wasted my early teen years with a guy that wasn't worthy,
Okay, that's the past sooooo moving on!
It wasn't an easy process moving on from that 4 years of being with someone who meant the world to me but nothing to him. Poly life obviously didn't start off very nicely, 4 years being "friend-less" cause my world only surrounded that one guy. Not even my family. Something I really regret a lot, and yeah I mean A LOT. But through the process of moving on, I found true happiness; the friends I had by my side, my family, and my own life.
>>>> Fast Forward
Few months later, I met this guy. I can never describe how I really felt when I first saw him at this random traffic junction, only to know him as "My friend's friend" HAHA. He wasn't perfect, in fact quite full of flaws (HAHAHA I'm sorry), I don't know why but I started looking up on him. His Instagram, Facebook, Twitter and what not. And what in the world; this guy plays a crazy number of instruments, sing and eh??? HAHA. Ps, I remember replaying Instagram videos of his covers and all that shit, quite creepy I know. But there was just this crazy feeling going on. I have no idea who he is, but like OMG THIS GUY IS COOL *_* I swear I went spazzing over him, trying to get to talk to him even through my friend. LOL.
And of course, we finally met and spent time together, got to know each other better. Text and hangouts during the holidays. Slowly I guess feelings grew between us? From group outings, to just the both of us. But I feared, I never want to go back to how life was before... I enjoyed myself a lot, it kept things off my mind and he was a pretty sweet guy. But I guess as we got really comfortable with each other, things started changing.
As of today, I don't know what caused the change, but through the months, the hurt that accumulated. I don't find myself ever so happy, I find myself easily frustrated, annoyed and all else that makes me really unhappy, or should I say us? What exactly is happening? Can I have an answer? I mean like, I get upset so easily.
Why does everything I say fall on deaf ears? When will action be put in place? When will things improve? Would things go back to how it was when we first met? Simple promises and delivery of words. Where are they?
I have so many questions on my mind, but I can't teach anyone to love me, they will have to do it themselves with their own realisation. I feel damn exhausted, but what else can I do?
// drea
